ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I could make wine with my vomit
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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