peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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