i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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