Me too!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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