New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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