Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
