I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
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she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
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He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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