I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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