Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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