I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
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just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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