i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
