I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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