Your face is a jimmy john
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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