everyone is single if you try hard enough
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
