Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
