That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am midnight drunk by noon
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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