My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
