Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
