Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
