He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How does one acquire holy water?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We are all done wearing pants today
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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