You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
