I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
