Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize