What did we do last night that was yellow?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
home. puking in laundry basket.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
