Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
