Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize