u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
