PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
