Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
