My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
