my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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