Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
