the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
