At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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