weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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