The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
