How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
