wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
