Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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