SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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