I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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