I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
