eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
