Pappa wants mamma naked
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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