We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
