dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it was like eating out sand paper
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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