yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
