True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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