had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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