If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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