I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
This is the high leading the old right now
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
