Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
