didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
