doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
