dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
