I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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