I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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