Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
