it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
