Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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