end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
oh god the rape fog is back!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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