I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
