Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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