Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
