...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
